Mari bersaudara

"Jangan kamu memutuskan hubungan, tidak bertegur sapa, membenci dan berhasad dengki. Jadilah hamba Allah yang bersaudara. Tidak halal bagi seorang Islam tidak menegur saudaranya lebih dari tiga hari"

Hadith Riwayat Al-Bukhari

Tidak ada lagi sepotong ayat yang lebih manis,
Bagi menggarapkan hubungan sesama Islam,
Tidak ada lagi hujah dan dalil,
Yang lebih indah melainkan kata-katamu,
Ya Muhammad,
Tidak ada lagi pegangan yang kugenggam,
Jika tidak Al-Quraan dan Hadith,
Ya Muhammad,
Kau lihatlah umatmu zaman ini,
Benci-membenci,
Berhasad dengki,
Tidak peduli.

Duduk sebumbung tapi sekelumit tak bersapa,
Duduk senegara tapi onar dibuat-buat alpa,
Duduk sebangsa tetapi berlaku fitnah dan dusta,
Duduk seagama tapi pegangan dituduh berbeda.

Bukankah kita bersama bersaudara?
Mengapa rakus politik menjadi agenda?
Kita kini dipandang hina,
Agama pengganas di mata dunia.

Inilah dia, keadaan kita. Duduk sekampung tak bertegur sapa. Masjid bermukim tak kira banyaknya. Masjid PAS, masjid UMNO, takkan mahu masjid PKR juga?

Mahukah kamu menjadi seperti di Timut Tengah? Perbezaan politiklah asalnya sengketa! Puak penyokong Muawiyah atau Ali isu utama. Lahirlah Shiah dan Sunni, kini Sufi pula?

Mahukah kamu melihat anak-anak kecil berduka nista? Melihat negara yang dulunya aman tetapi kini sengsara? Padahal ini semua perebutan kuasa.

"Awak tak paham..." ujarnya lembut tetapi penuh sinis. Tidak pula aku membengis.

Perlukah kita berputus arang berbeza fahaman? Bukankah kita ada Majlis Syura? Bukankah fahaman awak kononnya berlandaskan agama? Mengapa tidak mahu bersapa?

Balik ke kampung tidak bersapa. Berlainan masjid tidak bersapa. Berlainan parti tidak bersapa. Duduk sebumbung tidak bersapa. Sama agama tidak bersapa. Sama bangsa tidak bersapa.

Sapa siapa? Sapa kita.

Sapa kita bersaudara.

Mari bersaudara.

Telur ayam mamak

"Roti telur satu macha!"

"Baik, you mau makan apa cik adik manis?"

"Bagi saya nasi lemak telur ok?"

"You mau yang telur goreng ka telur goyang?"

"Hahaha!"

"Apa pasal gelak betul la saya tanya. Kalu itu telur goyang kalu, itu telur kuning ada goyang juga"

"Ooooohhh.. ok kasi saya yang itu"

"Minum?"

"Telur ais, teh tarik kurang manis"

"Telur ais? You suda tara betul ka tuan?"

"Hahah! I mean milo ais.."

That's the usual conversation between me and the macha at the Hakim Baru, Shah Alam when having a lepak with Maya Karin...

Yeah right. Even Maya Karin wannabe despises me. Anyway, today I would like to talk about the most unpredicatble issue regarding whatever you swallow from the Mamak Stall.

It was first discussed about 3 years ago, when I was attending a lecture called 'TITAS' back then in UiTM. The Ustaz pointed out one particular issue that was thought provoking and it remains installed in my mind until today. It sounds funny but very-very meaningful when you think about it. It went like this:

"Kalo nak dipikirkan, roti canai telur yang kamu slalu makan tu, harram."

At this point everyone in the hall was puzzled. So the question came as why?

"Budak yang tebar roti tu, bila dia keluarkan telur tu dari kulit dia pakai satu tangan je kan? Skill dia bukan main lagi. Tapi kalo nak dipikirkan, kulit telur tu biasa yang kita beli kat kedai tu, ada lagi bekas2 tahi ayam warna putih coklat tu. Maknanya bila telur tu lalu dekat bekas2 tahi ayam tu, jadi roti canai tu jadi najis. Maknanya harraam lah roti canai tu sebab dah jadi najis. Kamu pun makan ngup ngap ngup ngap"

With his special expression everyone was laughing their ass off already!

"Tapi tu lah, kalo nak dipikirkan dalam-dalam. Memang susah lah agama Islam ni."

Suddenly the hall was so quite.

"Sebab tu sebenarnya, jangan pikir susah-susah sangat sebab tu Allah ajar kita supaya yakin. Serupa jugak dalam solat. Tak perlulah nak ulang-ulang balik Al-fatihah tu just nak make sure kita baca tu betul. Yang penting kita yakin. Yakin pada Allah. Insya Allah, khusyuk kita dalam ibadah. Ada saja cara syaitan nak sesatkan kita. Dia kacau keyakinan kita je habis."

It was so true. It started off like a laughing matter but in the end, you know something good is going to come out from his story. There are a lot of thing that you can learn from what he said. I'm very sure you guys will notice unless you don't understand Malay at all. (Sorry for that but macam lah ada non-malaysian reading this blog).

Anyway, the point was taken in a way that something might seem like harraam. I remember going to Southampton to lepak-lepak with the gangs. It was Ramadhan and I was online with Fit's PC. I was chatting with another Soton friend and asked if she could join us for Berbuka puasa and preparing for it together as well. I was amazed how I was snubbed because I thought they actually know each other very well since they are living in the same building and from KMYS. I thought she was joking being herself, malu-malu kucing but she said it was because of 'perbezaan pendapat'.

I didn't know this before I came to Soton! I mean, I tried to ask her to convince me why have they not living like brothers and sisters of Islam? I know there's UMNO and PAS but come on, this doesn't look right at all! Since she's a friend of mine, I'm giving a the benefit of the doubt. Maybe she was misled by some fake ustazs who are only looking for domination instead of showing the real value of Islam. She is indeed only human. It's a shame to see how this so called 'perbezaan pendapat' can divide us Muslims let alone Malays!

Do you think you actually protect the name of Islam well by not talking to fellow brothers and sisters? Hizbi or PAS I don't wanna know who came out with this idea. Is it not wrong to 'putuskan silaturrahim'? Under what grounds that UMNO people shouldn't be talked to since they are 'kaffirs' as pointed out by one man from PAS?

Some people think they are so Islam. But they are actually being misled. And they are extremists. This people are the people that really concerns me. It is simply because the way they portray Islam as if it is a violent religion, a hard religion, a religion with many rules and regulations but the fact that it is with reasons and easy.

And the thing is, are the kaffirs meant to be ignored (let alone killed, butchered, bombed)?

These are some misconceptions about Islam. And it is so funny that it is being propelled by the self-claimed mu'alims and mu'alimahs but actually they are nothing but even worse than us who they called as ignorants and westernised, modern people (KL People as well). In fact, who are they to know if we are good Muslims or not. Only Allah knows a Muslim's darjah.

Sometimes you think you are so right. You follow the rules of Islam. But you ignore certain things like holding a good image of Islam. Menjaga silaturrahim. Promoting peace. The right way of dakwah. The list continues. We are indeed humans. You know that each and everyone of you is not indispensible. One day I might commit some wrongdoings as well. But I know I must put away that ego, admit my mistakes and repent. The idea is to think properly whether it's right or wrong. The assimilation of the teachings of Quraan and Hadiths with your brain. Because everything will make sense if you think and ask questions, not simply being blindly following this so-called zealots they will sometimes benefit from you.

Take an example of Osama. Do you think he actually care for the family of the suicide bombers? From what we know, judging on how twisted he is, he is probably benefiting from these poor people being brainwashed.

Take Ayah Pin for as another example. Some worshippers even let themselves to have sex with him to cure some illnesses. While, hello, is he not having fun here quenching his thirst?

And yes, the bombings in Iraq. I'm not talking about the US laknatullah administration they kill innocent people everyday as well. But these Muslim suicide bombers who kill Muslims, who kill innocent people, who kill makcik-makcik beli sayur di pasar, who kill young children and women. Why? Is that the way of Islam? Who thought them this nonsense? Allah? Muhammad? No. It's these people syaitan bertopengkan manusia. They want to be famous and kill people. That's all.

So don't be stupid. I noticed 2 days ago this lady opening a group called 'The Hanafi Madhab' in facebook. I mean what the hell? We are too divided already now she's trying to divide us more? We have the Sunnis, Shiahs and Sufis battling and killing each other in Iraq. I'm not going to kill a Hambali follower one day! This is basically politics with self benefits. I still dont understand why there should be war between these groups. I still think there are better ways to unite.

Everyday 20-50 people killed in Iraq. Allahuakbar? You see, how they portray Islam? They kill innocent people and shout Allahuakbar? This is truly un-Islamic. This is blasphemy!

I will go on writing till no ends. This is only about Islam. I havent touch on world unity yet. Some might say it's a fact we live in a racist world but I'm not that stupid to follow the herd. We must do something for a change.

Now, it's not the question of will I do something since I've been non-stop talking.

The question is when.

'Arsenal will collapse' - Jeg

Exactly after 14 days Superfan Gunner Jeg went to the Nou Camp for a visit and bought himself the Barcelona Unicef jersey in the process, talismanic striker Thierry Henry has offcially left Arsenal for the Catalunya Club. This is confirmed today at noon.

Ironically, Titi will also retain that special number 14 for his new club after a marvellous season with The Gunners. Arsenal has also let go another striker Jeremie Aliadierre despite firing blanks last season that saw them taking 4th place in the Premiership again.

"I was devastated by the news. I never thought something like this will happen after buying that (Barcelona) replica shirt exactly 14 days ago!" Jeg said.

Jeg has blamed the orthodox directors for causing this 'crisis'. He made it clear earlier that to challenge for the Big 3, Arsenal must do a Chelsea.

"I don't know about keeping Arsenal 'English' but for me, FIYOLO (F*** it. You only live once). I don't care if we were to be owned by some Americans as long as we are winning titles. It's frustrating of course for the gaffer to compete without any money! I live only once and I want to see Arsenal winning." he added after giving evidence of the likes of Chelsea, Man Utd and Liverpool.

"Of course it's a crisis you got that right. We can see some disharmony already after Dein's departure. Now we lost our Captain after losing Patrick (Vieira), Sol (Campbell), Ashley (Cole), Bobby (Pires) and Dennis (Bergkamp) in the recent years. Do you actually believe Reyes will help us now like he did for Real?"

"Of course it's a crisis"

Jeg has also apologised for not being too lively in his recent visit with friends in Bristol. Although he had a great time but he was said to be worried if people thought he was too quiet

"I was shocked and still shaken by it. The lads had done a great job with the BBQ but I think I could do better. Believe me I was very-very devastated."

When asked about what the future holds for his favourite team, Jeg replied,

"It was the same feeling when Marc (Overmars) and Manu (Petit) left for the same club many years ago. Since then, we won quite a number of titles. They might think the same will happen for Arsenal this time but I'm not that optimistic. We will struggle if we don't invest. We can't rely on the current squad. We need to buy more which I think will not happen as long as the current directors are controlling the affairs. I am predicting quite an exodus in the next few seasons. We will end up being like Newcastle or Everton if you like. Its not that I dont have faith with Arsenal. It's only that we must make some realistic approaches when predicting the future. So, realistically, Arsenal will collapse."

When asked about his loyalty, Jeg blasted, "Some morons would think that I'm not really a real fan of Arsenal. F*** them. Atleast I'm not a glory hunter like you. Supporting Chelsea because they buy big and winning for instance. I remember being alone supporting Arsenal back then in KYS and there were only 3 persons (Jeg, Francois and Kudin) who were watching Arsenal clinching the FA Cup in KMYS 2002. And my heart has not changed since. I'm only being realistic on the current situation. I'm freaking out of you like. Arsenal is like a second wife to me. I may not be as enthusiastic as the Liverpool fans chanting even they are trailing 6-1 at Anfield, but I'm a different type of fan. I criticise and hope some things will change for the better. In this case, the turn-around of the Club. But it seems like Mr Wenger is also leaving and so is Cesc (Fabregas). We are going nowhere unless we start buying big."

"Watch out. I will get the chance to really lose your boots this time."
Jeg spotting the Barcelona shirt in a recent BBQ in London. He plans to put 'Henry14' on the back of the shirt one day.

Will Arsenal struggle next season? Have your say, leave a comment.

p/s: Arsenal also loves to sell their super stars at a cheap. 13M GBP for Vieira and 16M GBP for Henry. Eat my dust you are good at accounts. No wonder the transfer kitty is always small.

J&Y Actuaries Ltd BBQ

Hosts: Jasveen, Yin Tse and two other housemates.

Venue: Elephant and Castle

Food: Ayam, Kambing, Jagung, Nasi, Sayur, Karipap, Chips and desserts

Guest list:
1. Kerolas (the guy who was playing the fool on the highway back then in 2002, now a talented photographer)
2. Ozzy (veteran keeper)
3. Duggie (with his flashy new drive E-Klasse Merc)
4. Francois (lost some weights I can see)
5. Jeg (wearing his new Barcelona Kids Size Unicef Jersey XXL)
6. Abbas (almost going Nabila hunting. Or was it Nabila who hunted him?)
7. Kitty Siti
8. Smq (err.. any comments?)
9. Lovely Mona (datang lambat)
10. Sensational Soha (balik cepat)
11. Johnate (aku tahu semua)
12. Bright smiling Shu (hands off guys, she's Johnate's wife)
13. Fendy (this time dia tak tidur but he's our man of the day memasak ayam!)
14. Zaid Pet (apparently Fendy's COO on the BBQ-ing)
15. Tan Chin Lik (with Abbas rajin melipat karipap sedap)
16. Nik Harris (gone back to Msia for good. Sadly)
17. Jeff (Yoi's bf, working in for Watson Wyatt)

Entertainment: borak2 photographers, masak2 ayam, gulung2 karipap, poker, declare, bluff, midnight movie (Fantastic Four. Sucks btw)

Many thanks Yoi, Jas and housemates.

Pics (courtesy of Duggie OKB)

Update: Altantuya Murder Trial

"SHAH ALAM: Abdul Razak Baginda and C/Insp Azilah Hadri planned the murder of Altantuya Shaariibuu before the police officer carried it out with his subordinate Kpl Sirul Azhar Umar, the High Court here was told.

The prosecution, in kick-starting the much-awaited murder trial yesterday, said it would prove this as well as all events leading to it through direct evidence and circumstantial evidence."

source: thestar

It's been quite a while since this case was first reported in the news. The gruesome find of the Mongolian model's pieces of then beautifully-built body near a forest area in Puncak Alam had shocked the nation. Speculations after speculations were made since the accused is a highly-rated political analyst to DSNTR.

A lot of people especially the oppositions are very keen to know the outcome of this murder trial. Being skeptical, I think they are hoping for some political agenda to be involved into the case so that they could prey on other people's despair. This is then said on the grounds of hearing a lot of hearsays regarding the issue, apparently made by some cowards on the webs and other networks (including kelas-kelas mengaji auntie2).

When I said 'oppositions', it would not only mean external culprits but also internal to the party called BN. The rumours were sometimes funny and you will know it was crap right away. Some of the things I heard:

Lies, damned lies, and fame-seeking bloggers

"Razak Baginda is actually innocent. He loves Altantuya very much why was he made a scapegoat? How can he do such brutal thing to the one he loves?"

"The man behind this is actually someone who is the deputy at the very top. You know how randy he is based on history."

"It was actually being carried out (the murder) as ordered by his (the deputy) jealous wife. Dia kan queen control. So happened the deputy guy had an affair with the model. The wife found out. So she was upset and asked those two policemen to kill her then."

Haha I tell you. This people can make good Malay films. The point I was laughing is the way the rumours were made even I can't make it myself. It's so interesting and eye-catching so that people would believe and spread these lies.

Semua orang suka gossips right? But you know, I realise one thing that these people are so very creative. They can be in the Hollywood. Haha.

Ok ok enough laughing already. Too many people are grieving the deaths of their love ones already.

Now lets just hope we get the real culprit. I'm opening myself towards every single possibilities but lets not make another false stories guys. How can you even consider benefiting from this unfortunate event.

And when we found the criminals, please human rights activists going against capital punishment, take your tongues out of this. Please!

No joy for Lina Joy

Hey guys.

I know a lot of people were confused about my previous entry. Almost every sentences were indirect and I bet you with further investigations you should be able to find out the real stories behind them.

Unfortunate, disgraceful stories behind them. Some are really funny though. Hehe.

However, this time lets talk about Lina Joy. A Malay woman who found love with a guy who has a different religion practice. She is even in the wikipedia under the heading Christian Converts after her controversial issue with the Immigration dept over her status in her MyKad.

The first question I would like to throw regarding this issue is, why did she has to convert?

Under the constitution, citizen of Malaysia are free to practise any religion. One might argue that she has every right to change her religion, from Islam to Christianity according to the right to choose a religion of practice.

But the question is why? Did her husband ask her to convert? Or was it her who voluntarily wanted to convert?

A bit about Lina Joy, she was born and raised as a Muslim. She converted in 1998 and wanted to freely live as a Christian. Recently, she applied her for her NRD to have the word Islam removed.

What problem does she got really with Islam? What really happened in 1998? Speculations are rife about why did she actually convert to Islam. Was she caught having sex before marriage or better known as 'khalwat' by the authorities? How was she actualy being mistreated until she decided to convert?

When there's smoke, there's fire. Every action there's a reaction and unfortunately, Lina's reaction was to convert. But I keep asking the question why? I know its her a choice but why?

And what if, her case was a success to her? What would be the consequences? Will there be another 300,000-ish new converts in Malaysia? Will that be ideal?

A lot of questions are yet to be answered. Some people find Islam a very hard religion to follow. They want to be free, they said. They want to live life so freely without having the problem of being caught by JAKIM. In all honestly, they want to commit adultery, drink profusely, involve in homosexual activities, have hugs and kisses in public, getting porky with pork and ham, having an expensive US-movie-like white wedding and etc without having to think about the consequences of being summoned and prosecute in the Syariah court.

OK now tell me one religion that gives the right to its followers to do all of the above. i.e. commit adultery a.k.a sex before marriage if you like. Christianity? Buddhism? Hinduism? Sikhism?

No, scientology is not a religion. It's some profit making, fame seeking people trying to come out with their new ideas of life.

So why leave Islam?

I think the different is that how a religion is being spread or practiced or authorized by religious groups. I gotta be honest with you of how I am quite disappointed with some people in JAKIM. The way they portray Islam like a hard religion. The way they come out with puzzling fatwas. The way they videotaped people dating in the parks of local universities uncensored! (asking their names, marital status in the process when confronted). The way the become peeping toms in looking for people commiting sins (catching an American and Chinese couple at the same time). I mean, you call yourselves religious enforces but yet I still heard many stories of some of you rotten apples asking for bribes after you actually know where to go to catch these people committing 'zina', somehere in Brickfields for an example.

And 'mencari-cari kesalahan orang lain' is also one of the dosa besar as far as I'm concerned. It's not me who said that. You can do some research if you want to know if I'm speaking the truth and it was taken from the words of Allah and Muhammad. And what is this 'membuka aib orang membuat dosa' activities videotaping and distributing them in the internet. It's a shame to Islam because all of this is done by Muslims. They said they want it to be a lesson to the rest of the Muslims but the results show that more and more videos were made and distributed. So you webmasters of mykakis and sabul, are actually carrying the most of the sins by showing off these videos and breeding them more. And come on, don't tell me you are doing it for a good cause. It's in your blood that you are perverts and making money from the adverts you put on your sites. So simply admit that you don't have to say that you are doing it 'sebagai pengajaran kepada Melayu-melayu yang lain'.

But still, I'm not saying those people in the videos are not wrong. They are wrong as well. No doubt about that.

No, there's nothing wrong with Islam. It's sometimes people misinterpreting it and using it for their own self-interests. I dont have the adequate knowledge to comment about other religions but I bet they are also good for us to lead our lives. And I bet there's no religion that promotes hate and war and provokes disharmony.

So come back to the question why leave Islam, Azlina Jailani? Is it in the name of love? For if it was in the name of love why didn't he let you keep your religion, your belief since you were small? The religion of your parents? What actually triggerred you to convert? What is wrong with Islam?

In my opinion, she's only being emotional over something that might had happened to her in her life. Because I dont find the reason why she has to leave. And for her to seek change in her MyKad religious status is something that I see as looking for cheap publicity. Right from the start you know you are not gonna win. But don't worry, it's not like I'm gonna kill you for being an apostate. Although some Muslim scholars might think we have to kill apostates under the heading 'memerangi orang murtad' but correct me if I'm wrong, I think that's not the way of Islam.

Feel free to correct me but this is entirely my opinion based on what I learned in Sirrah Nabawiyah (History of Muhammad). Musaylimah al Kadzaab was on of the first to claim himself as a prophet alongside the time with Muhammad S.A.W. People claimed him to have a divine power by dazzling the crowd with apparent miracles. He was rumoured that he could put an egg in a bottle; he could cut off the feathers of a bird and then stick them on so the bird would fly again; and he used this skill to persuade the people that he was divinely gifted.

Musaylimah, from Banu Hanifah suggested that he could share the earth 50:50 with Islam-led Muhammad from Banu Quraisy as a sign of immunity. His influence only rose after the death of Muhammad and Abu Bakar As-Siddiq first two generals were even defeated by Musaylamah. Fortunately, he was later defeated by Khalid Al-Walid.

To say that Musaylimah was an apostate and thus must be slaughtered for converting is debatable. The last time I was taught about 'memerangi golongan murtad' was back then in Form 5 under the case scenario of Musaylimah being fought off by Abu Bakar As-Siddiq. But in my opinion, Musaylimah was not even a Muslim at the first place. He started off claiming himself a prophet and thus making him having a religion he himself created. Thus, I reject the idea that he was an apostate and must be killed. Musaylimah was later killed in Yamamah war because he was a threat to Islam at that time. He tried to banish the existence of Islam and thus had to be killed. Not simply because he was an apostate.

Of course you wudnt let people destroy your heritage and race wud you?

But even if he was an apostate, must he be killed? I humbly request to the people whoever read this to give me the dalil that we have to kill all apostates. Because I actually do not know the dalil. At this stage, I think we have other alternatives in dealing with people who convert from Islam and killing them is not an alternative. And at this stage, I think it's un-Islamic to kill people who leave Islam.

Islam is a religion of peace. It's sad that people thought the other way. It's sad that Lina Joy and 300,000-ish applicants thought the other way. For me, the religious departments must do something about this. We must promote that Islam is a religion for all and I still find it awkward using the word religion to describe it.

It is actually the way of life.

And being a muslim for 24 years, I never thought that it's hard. It all makes sense to me. Being quite a realist, Islam does makes sense in all areas. But it's sad that some religious authorities failed to make the job well promoting Islam.

It's hard to prevent people committing sins and it is also a sin to be looking for sins. And the way I see it, people who are supposed to show a good image of Islam must do their job and protect it in the name of Allah. Show people what Islam really is.

I don't want to hear anymore of these statements blaming the religious authorities to justify whatever sins they are doing.

Finally, I still think it was a good decision on Lina Joy's case. It was made because of the consequences that might arise if the decision was in her favour. I'm hoping that she does not hold grudges on Islam or being bias/emotional in her quest to look for the purpose of life. My advice to her, keep asking questions and in the end, you will find the answer yourself.

Wallahualam.

Azrul,
Promoting peace in this world.

Cerihik Hang Kebun de Catalunya

Masih lagi belum ada khabar berita tentang SPC MARA. Gusar rasanya hati ini. Namun telah lama pun ia pasrah dengan segala keterbukaan yang ada. Kini genap 2 hari tidak aku bercebok mandi.

Boiler kondem.

Kini aku sabar menunggu Sang Gelap Gagah membaikinya namun tidak pula kunampak kelibatnya itu. Mungkin masih nyenyak beradu mimpi bebas bersekedudukan dengan wanita berkulit putih dari B.I.R.M (Bosnia in Real Matta).

Confirm bantai.

Ayuh mari aku ceritakan kisah lima lelaki kepenatan mencari kebahagiaan di bumi London dan Catalunya. Malam sebelum itu niat di hati bertemu Nabila sambil menikmati kuew tiaw goreng special Nahar. Malangnya, tutup pula dapur ketika itu. Kami berlima Nik, Fit, Sam, Jeg dan Dug hanya mampu menghirup air bandung yang tidak kurang enaknya, sambil menjeling-jeling ke arah Nabila yang kurasakan 'overrated' malam itu.

Kami pun berundur diri untuk bermain poker bersama Wahab. Rancak bermain poker berbual mesra maka kami pun ke agenda utama kami, Poker en Neasden. Dalam perjalanan pulang sempat juga kami menelefon Hippo Pizza untuk santapan malam. Thanks to Sam's quick thinking, we managed to call them through 118 118 since no one has got Hippo's number.

Poker punya poker punya poker seolah-olah kami hilang semangat untuk terus bermain. Mungkin kerana telah muak bermain sebelum itu. Namun pelbagai diskusi hangat diperkatakan malam itu. Maklumlah, bila sahabat berlima berjumpa, apa lagi yang mahu diceritakan?

Pelakon utama: Dayang NurfaNIZA Kemerahan.

Qiqah ramai-ramai.

Sempat juga berbual politik. Macam biasalah apabila familiar faces bertemu, apa lagi kalau tidak berborak politik? Diseling pula dengan berborak itik. Itik-itik tonggek yang tidak berkesedaran diri membuat onar di bumi orang. Amat curious aku malam itu. Berkali-kali kucuba korek siapakah gerangan itik-itik kurang sopan itu? Sehingga kini kutidak tahu.

Bantai.

Bagaimana pula dengan Kumpulan Tiga Line? Mahu sahaja aku berkomplot dengan rerakan tentera dan polis menembak sahaja mereka ini di kaki. Baru mereka tahu siapa yang lebih kuat. Walaupun Sheih Kickdefella mati-mati menuduh kumpulan yang bertemakan lambang Adidas itu adalah naungan P.M., aku yakin dia hanyalah beromong kosong sahaja mencari publisiti murahan.

Siapa perlukan kumpulan pengecut ini pabila anda berkuasa di atas segala bala tentera dan polis negara?

Sheih, insaflah. Mungkin keadaan sekarang mengingatkan kamu untuk memilih jalan yang benar. Less controversial but facts or quit blogging altogether. My prayers are with your Mum.

Ameen.

Model hari ini: Eva.
Featuring Tupac Malaysia: NEDarussalaam Al-Naussri.

Oh ya. Ina Naim telah bertunang baru. Mawi masih lagi memancing gadis sexy memegang joran. Mungkin umpannya belum mengena. Biarkanlah Luncai dengan labu-labunya. Pabila terasa diri ini sangat hebat boleh memiliki segala gadis elit di perut bumi ini, ikatan pertunangan bagaikan tiada ertinya. Pegangan agama pula dijadikan mainan. Nanti apa pula kata mereka?

"Pakai tudung labuh pun buat video dan terlanjur"

"Berzanji di kaca TV pon berputus tunang"

"Setiap hari di surau berkopiah pun berpegang tangan"

"Penyanyi nasyid pon suka melanggan pondan di Lembah Klang"

"Dulu ahli persatuan agama namun kini giat berclubbing dan minum"

"Abu Nawas dan Alexander the Great (kononnya Iskandar Zulkarnain) pun homosexuals jugak"

Sedih hati ini apabila nilai-nilai Islam dikaitkan dengan perlakuan sumbang. Amarah hati ini apabila orang-orang yang sepatutnya membawa panji-panji Islam berlaku onar. Imej Islam dijadikan scapegoat untuk mereka membahas dan men-justify perbuatan mereka.

All in. I call.

Begitulah kesudahan aku bermain poker malam itu. Penat rasanya untuk teruskan permainan. Selesai Subuh kami berlima beradu sebelum terbang ke bumi Catalunya. Di Stansted, Fit, Jeg dan Dug bertemu Fnd. Ya, kami semuanya mempunyai nicknames Tiga Abjad. Ironinya bagaikan ikan kembung Tiga Rasa.

Laparnya.

Kunjungan kami di Barcelona bagaikan kunjungan di La Ramblas. Hostel Kabul rupa-rupanya milik saudagar Maghribi bernama Mohammad. Ada kemungkinan segala staffnya pon beragama Islam. Ini termasuk bodyguard garang orang pertama menyambut kami di lobi dengan matanya menyorot ganas.

Kufikirkan dia dari Russia.

Makanan utama: Paella di Restaurante La Choquitos di La Rambla.
Minuman utama: Coffee (I wonder why)
Hobi utama: Tidur, duduk-duduk di kaki lima.
Permainan utama: Royal, Bluff dan Declare with Power Card.
Racist joke: Ada anjing juga, ada bukit juga, anjing itu woo woo woo, bukit tara jatuh.

Dengkuran Bagaikan Kerbau Menguak.

Aku amat terbiasa dengan dengkuran maut itu. Mungkin sejak dari KMYS lagi kerana selalu kukunjung tidur di chalet itu. Malangnya tidak pula kepada mereka yang berkongsi dorm Kabul dari America, Australia dan Switzerland. Jika semalam amat seronok berbual berloghat America bersama, keesokannya mereka tinggalkan kami tanpa kata-kata. Mungkin marah rasanya. Diganti pula dengan orang Swiss yang berbahasa German keesokan harinya mendengus kemarahan acapkali terdengar dengkuran itu.

"What the hell?" ujar seorang (translated).
"Haaaissshhhhh!!" tambah lagi seorang.

Ditepuk-tepuk badannya didodoikan sehingga bunyi-bunyian itu berkurang. Ada juga yang tidak tahan sehingga meninggalkan tempat tidur untuk berjalan-jalan di Port seorang diri. Disergahnya oleh lelaki berkulit hitam mengoffer sesuatu.

"Don't worry man, I've got GONG" ujarnya memujuk.
"It's O.K." dan terus beredar dari situ secepat mungkin.

Takut juga jika diberikan gong sebenar untuk dipalu. Baik juga kerana kuranglah tidur-tidur dan duduk bersahaja. Haha.

Ayat imaginary by the Americans: "I dont understand these Malaysians. They come all the way to Barcelona just to sleep?"

Sempat kami bersinggah berseloroh di Park Guel, Sagrada Familia, Barcelona Beach dan Nou Camp. Puas juga kami melihat udang-udang galah berjemuran di pantai walaupun tidak sempat kami menyaksi jerung beroda di L'aquarium. Restaurant Chino juga sempat dirasa setelah kami berkali-kali dituduh berasal dari China oleh orang awam.

"China, china, china!!" ujar seorang Catalan berumur 40-an kepada rerakannya di McD. Confident. Yakin persis. Dialah Gandalf. Dialah professor. Dia tahu semua.

Bila mungkin bangsa Melayu dikenal dunia? Hmmpph. Asyik duduk-duduk sahaja. Tidur sahaja. Mana mungkin?

Agenda kerajaan: Bahasa Melayu reverted to Bahasa Malaysia. First sign of One School For All?

Perjalanan kami di Barcelona tidaklah begitu gah. Namun, aku amat menghargai persahabatan kami yang ditambah erat dengan makan-makan angin ini. Justeru kami mengabdikan perkelahan ini dengan karikatur yang dilukis oleh pakcik yang bermata satu. Sebagai tanda tidak melaPAH kawan di masa-masa akan datang. Akan kita menge-frame-kannya seketika nanti.

ASB Full. Ayon FULL-ness.

Sebelum meninggalkan Kabul Hostel, ada pula drama swasta yang ditonjol oleh lelaki mereng di mana dihentaknya kepala dengan 4 biji gelas kaca. Akulah yang paling hampir dengan insiden itu namun sekelumit serpihan kaca pun tidak menusuk kulit aku. Jika tidak, mahu juga kusekeh kepalanya yang giat mencari kontroversi itu. Malangnya sedikit kaca terkena Fnd. Namun tidaklah serius.

Bayangkan jika serpihan itu tertusuk ke mata? Orang ramai yang berdekatan terpinga-pinga. Mungkin ada juga yang membuat spekulasi yang dia amuk terhadap kami orang Chino kerana kamilah yang paling dekat dengannya.

Skeptical. Skeptical.

Dengan sepantas kilat polis pon tiba dan menenangkan Catalan mereng itu. Mungkin penangan arak yang turut membantu menambah ke-emo-annya. Minum lagi. Minum. Ada apa dengan minum-minum?

Besar!

Dengan sepantas kilat, masa untuk pulang ke bumi London pun tiba. Hiba juga rasa hati ini. Entah mengapa. Mungkin kerana sedih tiada masa untuk ke Alhambra. Mungkin juga inilah trip Eropah terakhir bersama Fit dan Fnd yang akan pulang ke tanah air for good tidak lama lagi. Mungkin juga tidak mahu kutinggalkan Bandar Catalunya yang penuh dengan udang galah besar.

Apa yang pasti, terlalu banyak benda yang berlaku lately. Cuma harapan aku, kesemuanya diakhiri dengan happy ending. Salah tetap salah. Jangan di tegakkan benang yang basah. Salah tetap salah.

And no joy in Lina Joy. Lots of educated people might think she must be given the right to change. But have they considered the consequences of letting her to legally change her status?

It was a correct decision. No doubt about it.

Finally, selamat pengantin baru kepada mereka-mereka yang akan diijab kabul hostel this summer. This includes Dina-Lada, Fadzrul-Awin, Ajak-Hajar, Fairuz-Asma', Shasha-Shahrul and Pakyat-Ina (at merisik stage). This is more like it. Kahwin itu kan lebih teguh ikatannya? Janganlah menyakiti hati dan menjatuh air muka orang tua-tua. Malu akhirnya. Besar dosanya.

Maaflah kupinta kerana tidak dapat hadir bersama menjadi saksi pernikahan kamu semua. Semoga berbahagialah beranak cucu hingga ke akhir hayat hendaknya.

Tidak lupa juga kepada Awanis dan Azhari yang menyambut kelahiran anak sulungnya Azalia yang sangat comel bermatakan bondanya dan bertelingakan ayahandanya. Tahniah juga kepada Sitt yang juga kini bergelar ibu. Dan juga Shu dan Lan yang bakal menimang anakanda pertama Januari 2007, insya Allah.

As for me, I have nothing to share. And I dont like my story to be an entertainment. Haha!

Yang benar,

Jeg,
Chino en Catalunya.

Note: Jangan dipanggil Hang Kebun dengan nama itu. Akan ditumbuk mukamu tanpa rasa belas kasihan dengan tumbukan halilintar menerjah kebun sayur peringkat kelima.