I've waited a few days to comment on the recent event Kahwin Misyar. I only got the chance today as my limbo-land experience is still on a roll. I've been unemployed for a few weeks now and I just can't understand how people can stand being unemployed for say.. 6 months, 5 yrs, 30 yrs?Well, before we start our discussion about this controversial issue I would like to initiate this entry with a hypothesis: Misha Omar is more relevant than Kahwin Misyar. Let's see if we can come to a conclusion.
I know this issue started to spark when there was a case where a husband was made house-husband and the wife was the one looking for food instead. And then came the term Kahwin Misyar. In my opinion, we do not need to declare a marriage as a different marriage. All marriages are the same. There must be no special marriage like Kahwin Misyar, Kahwin Muto'ah, Kahwin Lari or Kahwin Dua?
Thus, there shouldn't be the term Kahwin Misyar in the agreement of a marriage. If I were the husband who is unemployed where my wife is an SBB Mutual Unit Trust Saleswoman who is making millions, you shouldn't judge me as a randy dirty old man who only gives sexual benefit. However, people must see it as "Ah well, they were married by mutual consent. No one force them to marry this way. And they look happy to me. What a bless!"
But you know we cannot keep some faulty holes shut. They will talk and talk and talk as if they were the most wonderful and blessed creatures on earth. There shouldn't be an issue over this marriage simply because we want to keep some negative-minded people feeling gay (happy).
It comes back to the root definition of mariage; mutual understanding. I dont like arranged marriages. As if you were forced to eat something you dislike for the rest of your life. Marriage should be done when both the guy and the girl accepts each other well. Take the earlier example as a scenario. When I got married to this successful saleswoman, she knows that I am unemployed. We are married in the name of love. And somehow I, as the husband must find ways to support the family whenever my wife is not capable i.e. preganant, injured or even permanently disabled. So, the responsibility will go back to me.
If Kahwin Misyar is implemented, we can avoid the 'maksiat'/ringan-ringan/californication/sex before marriage, (Choose your own words) as suggested by some ulama' in Malaysia lately. But I beg to differ. We can't control maksiat by just implementing Kahwin Misyar. Worse, we will create more husbands who neglect the wife and the kids simply because they cannot be forced to support the family under the name of Kahwin Misyar.
Do you really think Kahwin Misyar will totally destroy maksiat?
Suddenly the story of a senior citizen who claimed Siti Nurhaliza his biological daughter crossed my mind. Pak Ibrahim claimed he got married 7 times! And some people accused him of actually marrying 22 times! And Pak Brahim doesn't even recognise all his children leading to his imagination saying that Siti is his long lost daughter. Why? Because he gave his children to other people for adoption. Why? Because he is not capable of supporting the children; kahwin misyar.
So what if Kahwin Misyar is still implemented? I am cock sure we will create more Pak Ibrahims.
I frankly dont want to have a son that I do not know of. (It sounds a bit like a Jamaican who humps a lot-according to Russell Peters). Do you?
Again I must say that there must be no new terms in marriages. The husband must give both nafkah zahir and batin no matter what. But if the wife agrees to look for financial support, this can be done with mutual agreement between both. I dont think this is a problem. Wife or husband, both have responsibilities on the family.
Imagine again Kahwin Misyar is implemented. Suddenly the husband got a job. Knowing that he is married with the term Kahwin Misyar he will see an opportunity to enjoy without having the obligation to financially contribute to the family.
"Ahhh!! Aku kahwin dengan kau atas nama Kahwin Misyar! Apa kau nak dengan duit aku?? Kau takda hak nak mintak duit ni dari aku. Sudahlah! Aku nak pegi main golf ni!" (Padahal dia pi jumpa mistress baru. Money to burn babyy yeaa!!
Hopefully no woman in Malaysia will hear the aboved quote.
Conclusion: There is 100% confidence interval that Misha Omar is more relevant than Kahwin Misyar. (Coz she's sweet looking and friendly and bla bla bla aku angau jumpa Misha Omar LIVE. Wo Hooo!!)
Next entry: 50-50 male-female parliament quota and Samy Vellu got the spank from a sacked senior MIC leader on National TV.
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